Wisconsin Dells Trip - Noah's Ark (America's Largest Waterpark)

"Go to Wisconsin Dells" is in the "List of things to do before leaving the Midwest." With summer 2/3 gone, Brian and I took advantage of a promising Sunday weather forecast and decided to venture out to WI this weekend. Wisconsin Dells, WI is a city full of water parks. Brian describes it as the "Vegas strip with water parks instead of casinos." There you will find the Kalahari, the largest indoor water park in the country, and Noah's Ark, America's largest waterpark. You'll notice as I write more that with almost every ride they try to break a record, whether it be largest, longest, or first.

The Dells is a 3-hour drive from Naperville, so we headed out on Saturday afternoon to stay in Madison, WI in order to wake up on Sunday morning and only drive an hour to get to the park. On our way to Wisconsin, we stop for dinner at Fudruckers. They have a lot of burgers made from different animals, and Brian has the Elk burger (made from Elk meet) while I stick with the boneless buffallo bites. We stayed at the Cambria Suites in Madison. It was fantastic! I got a deal through Hotwire and ended up getting this 3/3.5 star hotel for $54! It happened because I paid for a hotel that was overbooked and when that happens Hotwire accommodates you by re-booking you into a hotel that's at least a half star higher and covering the difference. That was pretty nice because I was mad when I found out my first hotel was full and they still took my money. Worked out well. Brian and I took advantage of the room fridge, the pool, jaccuzzi, and hotel bar!

Sunday morning we feasted on McDonald's breakfast to ready ourselves for Noah's Ark. We arrived 5 minutes after the park opened (9am) and got a shaded spot very close to the ticket booth/lockers.

 Our first ride was Time Warp, which had a surprisingly humongous drop close to the beginning. It was amazing how fast that ride was and how deep the drops were. The idea is that it uses centrifugal forces to keep you spinning through the funnel until you fall through at the bottom. I remember hanging onto the raft handles really tightly because you do feel like you're going to get blown off the raft. My butt popped off the seat and everything! It is officially the World’s Largest Bowl Ride. Kind of a crazy way to start your day/theme park experience, eh?

 Our second ride was Bermuda Triangle. You have to pick up your own yellow raft and bring it up the stairs to the ride. This one was a bit frightening because the raft kept seeming like it was going to slide out of the tube. It would go really high up the slide when you were turning corners.  Apparently you can ride it alone too which I didn't know until now.

Ah, Dark Voyage, one of the least favorite of the day. You "set off on a 4-person raft into total darkness to encounter the twisting, turning, mammoth rapids and other surprises within." I don't really like a ride where you can't see anything and they spin you and twist you. It made me pretty nauseated. 

Congo Bongo seemed easy enough to go on even though I felt a bit sick. We were paired up with a mom(?) and her daughter(?), the latter was terrified and had a crying face going into the ride. I sucked up my nausea for her and me and Brian tried to be good sports and pretend the ride was nice and fun. You have to cross your legs when you go into this ride. It's a 5-person circular ride, 700ft long. You're twisting in circles the whole time so sometimes you're going down backwards (p.s.: basically 80% of my Time Warp ride was backwards, so this happens on other rides too. Congo Bongo is not that special but it's family friendly).

SlideWinders was fun. It was our first solo ride of the day. Brian and I raced each other going down the body slides a few times.There are 3 slides to choose from and there is virtually no line. They are the blue tubes in the picture to the right, right behind the elephant.

In the Paradise Lagoon, the pool is 11 ft deep. On the left side, you can see the cable drops I went on (you start off at the top and ride it down and get dropped in the pool and swim out). What's tricky is that some people couldn't support their body weight so right when they pushed off the dock, their hands let go and they fell 11ft into the water (vs the 2in. at the end). On the right side, you can see the canon ball slide tube that ends about 5 feet in the air. When you go down the slide, you basically get tossed into the pool instead of crashed into the pool.

They also have these "lilly pads" that you skip on that seems kind of fun. I didn't see it until now. Would have probably tried it!

Then we went on Jungle Rapids. This is another one where you have to take up your own blue raft. "You’ll experience winding twists and turns, fast accelerations and gentle cruising stretches." Nice and easy. I loved this ride after

The Plunge (two blue slides on the right)

"When it comes to thrills, why not dive in head-first? Going feet first? That’s kid stuff. No, for real thrills, it’s time to face your fears and take The Plunge– the only extreme head-first waterslide in the Midwest. Race a friend or go it alone on one of two side-by-side slides that will leave you screaming for more!" This ride, while scary, is my second favorite of the park (after Anaconda). You pick up a blue mat that comes with two iron handles you can hang onto. As you go down the slide, the first hump lifts your body off the mat for a quick second. The second hump sends your body flying off the mat as you go down (see picture on left). It's very fun because you feel scared, excited, and a little safe since you're still holding onto the mat. It feels like you're flying throughout the ride.

This all happened by 11. In 2 hours we were able to take advantage of the short lines and conquer half the park! We took a lunch break and had a horrible meal at the Deli stand accross the ticket booth before walking to the other side of the park for Black Thunder, where we tried 3 of the 4 slides.

 Black Thunder requires you to carry up your own neon green raft. "If a waterslide with mind-bending twists and turns have you a little concerned, don’t worry. You won’t even see them coming inside the total darkness of Black Thunder. Of course, that’s the fun! Choose from four different slides, including the Twin Twisters and Witches Gulch, each offering their own unique thrills. And be sure to watch for the special effects, waterfalls and other surprises along the way!" I was a fan of Witch's Gulf and Brian liked the twin twisters. My hat flew off during Witch's Gulf , which was very sad (you can see the big dip in the picture. It's tubes 2 and 3). Fortunately, the hat floated very close to the stairs so Brian was able to grab it. Readers out there, do not try this at home as if you lose an item and it is too far from you, you could get hit by oncoming traffic when you go retrieve it.

We thought this was an indoor thrill ride but it's not! It's a haunted house with an optical illusion ride thrown in the middle. The ride is very nauseating as they lift your seat up really high and it looks kind of terrifying. Ugh I hated it, it was long and not fun. It was the opposite of fun if anything. Negative fun.

Finally, we decided to brave the line and wait for Black Anaconda. The wait was about 45 minutes and the ride was fantastic! My favorite of the park. They really splash you with a lot of water during the ride and it's very smooth and fast and thrilling.
"At over 1/4-mile long, Black Anaconda is America’s Longest Watercoaster—a diabolical combination of water slide and rollercoaster... [the] Black Anaconda swallows you whole, sending you spiraling down at 30 miles per hour. Then defy gravity as rushing waters push you up the creature’s six humps and lash you about in its dark coils. Black Anaconda lets you experience thrills on a whole new scale!" -Noah's Ark. They do wheel you up the humps really fast, it was good machinery work by the construction people! What's also cute is that you end the ride coming out of the Anaconda's mouth (see pic below).

After this, we wanted to line up for Scorpion Tail but came upon an obstacle. The lifeguard wanted us to remove our rashguards due to the fact the extra clothing might slow us down. Scorpion Tail has a lot of restrictions, and it is mainly because you have to get enough speed through the ride to make your way through the loop. So we went on a couple more rides that we liked again and then lined up.

"Ten stories high. 400-feet long. An initial drop that sends you plummeting down at more than 50-feet per second. Oh, and did we mention America’s first nearly vertical waterslide loop? Meet the Scorpion’s Tail. Yeah, this might sting a little." (Do you see the steep drop? Well that's only maybe 2/3 up the initial drop!)

The wait was soo long at 1.5 hours and the last 20 minutes were agonizing. You get to watch people fall through the tube and it makes you very anxious. You climb into the tube, they close the door, the computer counts down from 3 and the floor falls out from under you and you are launched down the tube/scorpion's tail and through the loop and 300ft below you come out. You have to keep your feet together and your arms crossed. First I stood on their weight balance, then I climbed into the tube. I think the scariest part is those last 10 minutes and the moment before the floor drops. When the floor disappears and you launch through it, I had my eyes closed so it felt very serene. It was quiet all of a sudden and I could feel the water splashing around me. You feel that weightlessness feeling but your gut doesn't quiet make it to your mouth on this one. I  When the drop finally ends and you are sliding through the loop. I open my eyes close to the end of the fall and start enjoying the ride more. I make my way up the loop ("hee hee") and then feel lost in time and start sliding head first ("oh no is it happening?") and then feel another twist and start going forward feet first ("this must be the crazy loop. maybe i'm upside down right now") then I finally go heads first through the ride ("ok I am officially stuck in the Scorpion's Tale. The rules sign said to wait until I stop moving and lay flat until someone comes.") and when I go forward feet first I come to a stop. The water is spraying in my face and I wait about a minute and someone pops out of the ceiling and says I can come out. So I exit through the staircase. Brian makes me feel better about getting stuck and we swap stories about our experiences on the Scorpion Tail ride. We go on Blue Rapids two more times to leave the park on a good note. That was really really fun! I was a kid at play.

You can watch a video of all the rides at:
http://www.noahsarkwaterpark.com/category/attractions/attractions-list/
Other cool rides:
http://www.womansday.com/Articles/Family-Lifestyle/Travel/9-Raging-Water-Rides.html